HEAR YE, HEAR YE, CAW CAW CAWOO!
ON THURSDAY THE THIRTEENTH OF MARCH IN THE YEAR OF OUR LØRD TWENTY & TWENTY FIVE, THE RENEGADE DIONYSUS, GOD OF WINE, ECSTASY, MADNESS, & FAGGOTRY RETURNS TO BROOKLYN TO WREAK HAVOC AND MAYHEM UPON OUR GOOD PEOPLE. THE BACCHANALIA KNOW NO BOUNDS, AND THIS VAGABOND DIONYSUS LEADS A PARADE OF LOSERS, FREAKS, ANIMALS, WEIRDOS, WHORES, BOTTOM FEEDERS, INVERTEBRATES, & OTHER WILD THINGS COME TO SOW CHAOS AND DISORDER ON GOOD BROOKLYN!
HIDE YOUR CHILDREN! HIDE YOUR WIVES! HIDE YOUR HUSBANDS! AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT BE LURED INTO THIS WICKED FESTIVAL OF SIN!
COAT YOUR EARS WITH WAX & BIND THYSELF SO YOU DO NOT HEAR THE SIREN SONGS OF IO, JESSAMESS, ELLE DEE, AND THE HUNGRY MARCH BAND!
IF YOU SEE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING AGENTS OF DISORDER, PLEASE REPORT TO THE AUTHORITIES IMMEDIATELY:
UNDERWORLD | CVLTVS | GOTHAM TAXIDERMY | THE NO RING CIRCUS | THE INSTITUTE OF QUEER ECOLOGY | LYNDA WHITE | WILL ATKINS | SYNEAD | THEE SUBURBIA | SEAN DEVARE | QUEERLY FEMMETASTIC | MOCHA LITE | MIZUHO KAPPA | LINDA FELCHER | KLONDYKE | HILA THE EARTH | GOD COMPLEX | EZRA MOTH | BUFFY | AMYGDALA | AND MORE DEVIOUS AGENTS YET TO BE NAMED!